There are certain things in life that are simply impossible.
Licking your elbow, for example. You simply cannot lick your own elbow. You can try, but it is impossible to lick your own elbow.
Getting Distribution Manager Justin Vitti to stop showing pictures of his newborn daughter, Piper. You simply cannot get Justin Vitti to stop showing pictures of Piper. But… she’s adorable, so we’ll let it slide.
Sampling all 4,000 beers at the Great American Beer Festival. It is simply not possible to sample all of the beers in Denver at GABF next weekend. In a four-hour session, you’d have to sample 1,000 beers an hour. That’s 16.67 beers a minute. That’s a two-ounce beer every three-and-a-half seconds.
You can’t do it. You shouldn’t try. That’s 500 pints of beer in four hours. Even the most daredevilish amongst us will realize that there’s simply no way of achieving this.
So, if you’re planning to be in Denver at the Colorado Convention Center next weekend, you’d better have a gameplan, and it should involve making a beeline to our booth in the Mid-Atlantic section, 24-14.