The Night Beerfore Christmas, 2018
‘Twas the night beerfore Christmas and all through the (brew)house
No one was working, not one single louse!
The beers had been made, all ready with hops
In hopes that our visitors would think that they’re tops.
The brewers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of pilsner malts danced in their heads;
And Mop Man in his PJs, and Ry in his onesie
Had just settled down for a cold winter’s… tea?
When from the Tasting Room there arose such a clatter
Hank began yelling, “What the hell is the matter?!
“We’ve got tasty brews upon all of these taps
“Sessions and lagers and porters at that!”
So everyone chose a strong tasting of beers
And, clinking glasses, they gave a great “Cheers!”
Then to their wondering taste buds appeared
Flavors more exotic than Santa’s reindeer.
From the King Porter Stomp was a creamy mouthfeel
And a hint of fresh chocolate that’s pretty unreal.
More complex than the last, each pour, oh, they came;
Mop Man whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now White Caps! Now Biscuits! Now Gose and Shandy!
On Pinky! On Devil’s! Oh, aren’t they all dandy!
To the sixtel of Porter! To the keg of Pale Ale!
Now drink with intention, sip without fail!”
And soon the Coastal so sadly ran dry
And Mop Water was finished, quick on the fly!
City was refreshing, so crisp and so light —
And a wise addition to, really, any beer flight.
Old Salt with its notes of fresh watermelon,
King Porter’s so good, no wonder it’s sellin’!
The latest one-off they brewed with its cherry vanilla
Made everyone say, “Man, this is killa!”
And the best part of all, they saved for dead last
Boughs of Barley was back, but it wasn’t on draft!
For the third year in a row, this delectable brew
Filled all with great cheer, and merci beaucoup.
The labels, they twinkled! The caps: how merry!
A Christmas miracle! (And so easy to carry…)
This is better, they thought, than a gift with a bow…
Our facial hair won’t be all covered in foam!
And thus the three men, they all filled their bellies
That shook when they laughed like bowls full of jelly.
It was so clear, and all were agape,
That the best beers of all are Crafted on the Cape.
And even off-season there’s a customer base
That values craft beer, knows it’s all about taste.
From the very first grain to the very last yeast
We’re committed to bringing you big liquid treats.
But for now, we’ll just wish you a happy new year
And a two-thousand-nineteen free of bad beer.
May your stockings be full, may you love your next flight.
Hoppy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!