Fare thee well, “Unit 8”. Such an uninspired, boring moniker for this inspired, totally-not-boring place. We’ve been giving you tidbits about the expansion for awhile, now, and it simply couldn’t go much longer being referred to by its address. So, we’ve rechristened it with a great new name…
Awesome, right? The name evokes beer and clothes… and that’s pretty much what you’ll find there.
“We’d been planning for quite awhile to expand our swag next door to free up our beertenders,” Ryan says. “This way, they can maximize their time to do what they do best: pour beer and educate our visitors.”
No one likes waiting for a beer while someone takes 20 minutes to pick out a t-shirt, but, at the same time, everyone should be allowed to take 20 minutes to pick out a t-shirt. It’s a paradox.
Now, you’ll be able to take your time perusing our merchandise without the judgmental gaze of impatient drinkers. In addition, we’ve got a whole new swag line coming out soon to fill the racks in the Brewtique.
And the piece de resistance? An automated growler filler. (Drool.)
Hilariously described by its Austrian manufacturer, Gruber (Hey, didn’t Bruce Willis have some sort of run-in with him?), as “probably the BIGGEST GROWLER FILLER STATION IN THE WORLD” (“Ve don know. Ve did not attempt to find out. Vat do you care; it gives you beer.”), this stainless steel behemoth can fill a 64 oz growler with no waste (party foul) in under a minute (party on), regulates the amount of oxygen going in (oxygen=bad), and can handle up to sixty varieties of beer (“Challenge accepted!” — all of the brewers).
“You’ve watched the brewtenders fill a growler,” Ryan says. “Half of it ends up going down the drain.” True, Ryan. All of that beautiful CMBC brew going to waste — it’s heart-wrenching.
“No more heartbreak,” he says. “Now, every delicious drop will go where it was intended to go: to very happy beer drinkers.”
“Yippie kai yay, Mister Falcon.” — The TBS version of Die Hard
The Brewtique will be opening Thursday, June 2, for the more adventurous fans, with Gruber’s best to come next week and a grand opening event to come later in the summer.